Gone Fishing Indefinitely
by iheartmusic
Summary: LL JavaJunkie. Lorelai has a dream and is woken up by the our very favorite diner owner. Post-Say Something. No Spoilers...


Title: Gone Fishing, Indefinitely

Author: iheartmusic

Disclaimer: Regular crap. I don't own anything.

A/N: Don't have much experience with L/L fics, but I was in the mood. I'm not sure if I got the emotion down, but I will go back and edit if it's pure crap, as I just wrote it in about an hour.

* * *

She walked into her house and surveyed her fingernails. They looked pretty much the same. Her manicure had been bitten off mostly. That silly, stupid, giddy little manicure that she'd gotten for her mother's stupid wedding. It was uncalled for and frankly, too pink, for even Lorelai's taste. But she'd done it to humour her mother before her big day. It was the least she could do. _Well, guess what Emily? No more pink manicures. No more anything from me ever again. That's it. You're gone. We're over. Through._

She knew it wasn't true. Sooner or later, her mother would weasel her way back in. _I mean_, there's no way Rory could still be going to Yale without her constant checks. And no doubt, Emily Gilmore would suffer from a terrible hand cramp and be unable to write. That is, until Lorelai, eventually forgave her. All the havoc that woman reaped.

Lorelai could feel her eyes brimming over with tears. It wasn't fair. It really wasn't. She'd finally done it. She'd finally fallen in real, perfect love. It'd been there, for eight years. And she'd finally realized it. And he had too. He had carried her horoscope around for eight years. He'd made her a skating rink, a chuppah and coffee. But now… she could feel it slipping away.

It'd been so long. She'd forgotten what it felt like to be truly heartbroken. She'd felt it with Christopher. _Christopher._ Number two on the hit list. She didn't get it. How could he always be so… _Christopher_? He'd broken her heart. Multiple times. He'd done stupid things. Multiple times. There was Sherry and Gigi and the graduation. And now he thought he could come back?

A year ago, she might've agreed. But now? Things were good. They were great. And _he_ came back. She'd been warned. But no, she was blind. She was always so blind! _How come everything in my life is so obvious to everyone but me?_

She toddled her way to the kitchen. She didn't feel like eating. This was a first or maybe a second. She'd eaten a whole cake when she was grieving over Max. But Luke, not a crumb. She had to be coerced into eating anything. Sookie had come over that morning to assure her some nourishment, with a nice lobster bisque and little cups of Crème Brule in the fridge. She loved French desserts… but not now.

It wasn't fair. He'd been with her. Through everything. When Rory had the chicken pox. When she had to talk to that stupid class. She'd never even told him that she loved him.

She looked at her coffee pot. Nope. No coffee. Any coffee would make her want Luke's coffee. And if she went into Luke's she might just break down and cry on his shoulder; right in front of Caesar's rendition of My Girl. What a scene that would be. _He's so perfect. He broke my backdoor lock._ Inevitably, he'd have to come and fix it. Lorelai would let him in. Turn up the radio really loud and not return until it was finished. Something happy. Like the B-52s.

She would have to go on. Somehow get over it. _Think happy thoughts, puppies, Luke wouldn't let me buy a puppy… Rory… was so sweet after the breakup. Music… that damn _Wedding Bell Blues_ song, Lane, miss that kid… works at Luke's, the Inn which Luke funded, donuts, coffee…_ _Is nothing in my life not somehow tied to Luke? Nothing in life will be the way it was as long as Luke and I aren't together._

And the town… And the ribbons. She started to cry… her life was changing…spinning out of control. And Taylor was making everyone take sides. Her head was raising and she collapsed on the couch. She was so tired.

She could see herself in a dream. She was walking around 50 years from now, covered in pink ribbons. She was old and feeble. Just coming for one last word to Luke before she kicked the bucket. But there was no diner. No coffee, no Caesar. No people. Instead a blue ribbon on the store window and a sign, _Gone Fishing, indefinitely._ Her 86-year-old self pounded on the windows and cried and she screamed. She regained consciousness at the sound of a- "Lorelai!" She felt strong hands stopping her from her falling off of the couch.

Her eyes opened and tears rushed out. She cried as she spoke, "Luke… you…"

"I just, well, I…" he paused as he helped her back onto the couch, "I… well, your backdoor lock needed to be fixed and I just thought… since it's night and you're all alone…it might be unsafe… but you're, you're…" he held her hand… "What's wrong?" He looked so concerned. Worried. It reminded her of the day he drove her to the hospital. It was so long ago. She'd thought her father was going to die.

"You." She collapsed into his arms and cried more… She couldn't let him see her like this, but, she was beyond control now.

"Lorelai… I'm sorry…" Luke was apologizing, but he had no reason to.

"No! I was wrong! I'm terrible… you should leave and let me be. I should just… get over you… and live here. I'll never come to the diner again, I promise. I won't be your burden," she was pleading helplessly, as she dissolved into deeper tears. His arms wrapped around her.

"Don't do that."

"Luke, _I'm so sorry…_"

"No, I'm sorry… for not listening. For needing time. I love you, and I don't need time to think about that…" He patted her head as she stopped crying…

"But Luke…" He kissed her on the cheek and they stayed in that position for awhile. She had her head on his shoulder and his arms around her. There was a deep silence, where words didn't seem fit to describe their unnamed emotions.

Out of the darkness, she whispered, "Luke, I love you."


End file.
